I heard someone say recently,
“Stop listening to what you say about yourself and start listening to who Jesus says you are.”
Yes, go ahead and give that one more read and really let the words sink in. Deep breath. I truly believe we all are so hard on ourselves. We have heard the words a million times before, “we are ourselves worst critics.” In my architecture classes, it seems that my peers and I only seem to find the flaws in our projects. We had a final project due a couple of weeks ago, and after my friend and I finished, we proceeded to sit there and criticize our own hard work. Sure, there were things I loved in my project, but all I could focus on were the things that were a bit off, or the glue that was still left over. The flaws.
More often than I would like to admit, all I seem to focus on is my own flaws. The places where I fall short again and again… and lately Jesus is having none of it.
I’ve been learning a lot about my worth. I think this cycle of focusing on my flaws stems from a long history of boys, friends, and grades who have told me time and again I am not good enough. Finally, I just seemed to bend to what they thought and my worth started to become what they thought.
A couple of months ago, Jesus started speaking….
“Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart,”
over me. I wasn’t quite sure why and honestly felt like it wasn’t really relevant to what I had been walking through, which had been a lot of healing from past relationships. However, as usual, sometimes we just can’t see where the Lord is going until we get there.
On September 14th Jesus asked me to write down a list of the desires of my heart that He answered the day before. I started writing the list and when I finished, I read over it again and in that moment, I have never felt so very worth it. So loved. The list was the simplest things that only someone who loves me and knows me so deeply could have known to give me. I sat there and cried. I cried because I felt known after so many years of searching for being known in things that would never allow it. I cried because Jesus is good. The list goes on. This moment catalyzed my mindset of finally listening only to what Jesus says about me and blocking out what the world says.
It’s not perfect. I find myself still labeling what I think I am, but I am trying and growing, and learning everyday about what Jesus thinks. Sometimes, most times, it’s really not all that pretty. I stumble so much, but I find every time I stand back up, I am stronger. Something that gives me so much comfort is He is right there with me, right there forever and I will never have to walk alone.
My worth is Jesus.
Our worth is Jesus.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
You are confident.
You are intentional.
You are deserving.
You are funny.
You are kind.
We are HIS inheritance.
Let’s start believing what our King says and stop listening to our own labels.