I want to fall in love with Jesus all over again every single day.
As I have sat in coronavirus isolation, it became something unexpected and really wonderful.
This is mostly how my days have been looking. Go to bed early and wake up just whenever I wake up, no alarms blaring; sometimes I wake up to the sound of rain hitting my window. Each time I wake, I can just feel the Lord's delight. The warmth of His deep love and the power of His nearness seeping through my being. Jesus! I have just been falling in love with Jesus afresh every morning and it feels like an adventure.
It's taken me a really long time, but I am finally understanding what I am made for. I used to think I was made to please people, made to make something of myself, made to take things off the Earth that would give me worth. When I found Jesus, He began to shatter my paradigms of what I thought I had been made for. The Lord was gentle and patient as He reversed toxic thought patterns I had picked up to make myself feel worthy. He gently revealed truth and began to show me what I have been made for.
I am made to fall in love with Jesus.
It seemed too simple in my pre-Christ mind that had believed a million different lies of where to get her worth. I remember reading the Bible and I kept seeing "Abide in me." I didn't get it. What in the world did the word abide in mean? How was I supposed to abide in God? I had always thought of God as a far off, angry Father who didn't really care about me.
When I chose to say yes to Jesus, I would watch myself become someone I didn't recognize. I would watch myself fall on my face weeping before my Father in Heaven because I understood the weight that He cares for me. I would watch myself pull someone aside in a grocery store because I just needed to tell them they were completely and wholly loved by Jesus. I would watch myself learn what it means to abide.
Abiding for me is simple; it is what I have found so much of as I sit in isolation. It's not complicated and there is not really a right way to do it. Jesus wants to hang out with you. He thinks you are amazing and He is proud of who you are. He just needs 10 minutes a day and before you know it, you will easily give Him all 24 hours. Abiding is hanging out with Jesus. It's being a child and letting your Father's love absolutely wreck you. It's inviting Jesus in, everything is fair game because Jesus cares about so much about you. Abiding is understanding that you have permission to enjoy His love without giving Him anything back - but trust me...you will want to give Him your whole life. (:
Loving Jesus is simple and I think isolation is a really sweet place to learn to abide in Him deeper. The weight of the world is off. We have the time; let's give it to Him.